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Well, I guess you're not in top shape at the moment since you have landed on this page. I suppose that you are probably going through a difficult break-up and need help. This has happened to me as well and I believe that it is entirely possible to survive a break-up and eventually make up with your ex. Now, you don't need to go through hundreds of sessions with your shrink only to find out what you already knew. This article concentrates on three main points that will guide you and help you survive a break-up easily.

1 - Try and stay away from those who advise you to take revenge.
There is nothing more damaging for you and your ex than to get on the road to revenge. Since the break up has happened now, then you must look at the reasons behind this difficult experience. Try and remain as conscious of yourself, your feelings and your future as possible and avoid any dark revengeful thoughts.

2 - Plan a future and try and include your ex in this future.
There is no need for you to erase your feelings and surely, I bet this is the last thought on your mind at the present time.
Try to remain in a positive mood even if it is very difficult right now. Clear your mind and work on your future with a positive outlook. Negative thoughts bring negative behavior and you definitely don't need it right now.
3 - Take action whenever you can.
This means getting in touch with your ex again but without putting any pressure on him/her. Your ex must understand that you are also going through a difficult time but there is nothing wrong in making an approach and showing your ex that you still care. Avoid constant telephone calls or text messages and gradually learn how to get back in touch with moderation.
Don't forget that your former partner is going through the same trauma as you are. Whether it was an ugly break-up or a very reasonable one, feelings for one another are undoubtedly still there and by keeping in touch and yet still keeping your distances, you will survive the break-up and with some efforts and conciliation, you can soon get your ex back in your arms and easily survive the break-up.

There are numerous reasons that relationships break up. Some of them are even good reasons. For instance, if you are just leading your partner on, it is right to cut him or her loose. If he or she isn't trustworthy, that is a good reason for a break up. Of course, sometimes peopleís lives change and the partner no longer fits into the total picture, in which case, it is good to end the relationship.

So, when do you make up?  

There are two components to saving a relationship. First of all, you have to both love each other. But that alone is not enough to save relationships from breaking up. For instance, partners of different religious faiths may love each other but find that love alone can't bridge the difference in their outlook for the future.

You also have to be able to see a future together. If you can't see the person in your life in six months, you might as well separate now, even if you have a real bond of affection.

And, if this is a serious relationship and you can't see yourself marrying your partner, you will be doing both of you a favor by calling it quits.

If you are going to make up, you need to reflect on the relationshipís break up. Why did things go sour? When you have identified the root causes of the split, you can begin to fix things.

It may take time to fix things. While your ex may not be willing to jump back into bed with you, they might be willing to be friends and to work on the relationship. In fact, after a relationship's break up, you may not want to start right back where you left off. Instead, take some time to rebuild the romance in your lives.

Here is some advice for people who are wondering whether to break up or make up.

First of all, listen more than you talk. Don't always try to explain your position. Try to understand your ex's. Also, listen without planning a rebuttal.

Next, remember to do the things your ex likes. If she likes it when you buy her flowers, get a dozen roses. If he likes it when you go to his football scrimmages, go. This shows that you pay attention to their wants and needs.

Show your ex that they are on your mind even when you are not around. You can do this by calling or texting them.

Call each other by loving or pet names. This brings exclusiveness to the relationship.

Try to have fun again. Too many times, relationships become too serious. Communication becomes paramount. But, dating is supposed to be fun. Try putting the serious issues aside from time to time and focus on enjoying each otherís company.

When it comes to relationships, break up is hard because you have invested so much in the other person. Because of this, making up is sometimes the better answer.



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Is your relationship suddenly over? You probably feel like the wind has been knocked out of you and are not sure if you'll ever regain your breath. Find yourself extremely depressed? These are typical feelings. It is not that you feel this way that matters. It is how you deal with. How much do you know about dealing with a breakup the correct way? It is very important that you learn it. One thing that will happen is that you will mourn for the relationship that has ended. You could call it a restless death that you can tackle in a variety of ways.

Poetry, music, and journal writing help you through this time. Put your feelings down on paper and begin to examine them. Get to understanding them and then you can find the strength and ability to heal.

They love you. They want to help you and listen to your problems. What they do not want is to have your problems the only thing you talk about to them. When your support group has reached their limit, look to a professional therapist to help out.

It is very hard to let you especially when dealing with a bad breakup. Plans had been made. Dreams had been spun. Anger for ending it all churns. All of this has to go. The words that you wrote on the paper are literally being taken away by the fire. Now imagine that it is also taking the literal pain away.

Let go of any keepsakes that remind you of the relationship. All items that belong to your ex need to go back to your ex. Ask that your ex return anything that belongs to you. Anything that reminds you of the relationship should not be visible around your home or in your office. Put away items that you would like to pull out again some day in the future you can handle it better. Make sure that you put all pictures away. Pictures need to be packed up. Pictures that are destroyed are an example of childish behavior.

No contacting your ex. Neither one of you should be contacting the other. If your ex tries to, do not accept any communication. Returning personal items can be done with the use of voicemail. A personal discussion does not have to happen between the two of you. Block them on Facebook. Entering into a new relationship so soon after a bad breakup will only make things worse. You are still in the process of learning how to deal with a breakup. You will get hurt and prevent yourself from growing stronger. Deal with your grief and then you can deal with dating.


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You're sitting at your kitchen table, in a lawn chair, or in the front seat of your car, and you're wondering what to do with your failure of a relationship.  Your options range from break up to make up, either one is going to take some work and you're not going to get out of this easily.  There are three tips to get you started in making your choice, and making whatever you decide to do successful.  
 
All relationships have problems, even the great ones.  How would we know that we were even in a great relationship if we hadn't suffered some sort of catastrophe earlier on.  It's possible for bad relationships to become great, as well as relationships where people just seemed to stop trying.  If you fell in love, there is always something there to work with so stay positive.  You have important decisions to make and they're going to affect you for a long time, so make sure you do it right!
 
First, Evaluate the Situation...Carefully.
 
While you're sitting at your table, in your chair, etc.,  use this time to go over what exactly went wrong.  Are you two fighting a lot, having career conflicts, or you just don't spend enough time together?  Obviously the list can be much longer, but the point is that with a little work those issues can be resolved.

 If your relationship is plagued with substance abuse, violence, or emotional abuse, maybe it's time that you call it quits.  It's fairly easy to work on issues such as arguing when both partners are willing to listen, but if the relationship has already reached a violent point there is little that you can do to save it.  Some people have severe psychological problems that only doctors can help them with.  
 
Take Your Space...Give Them Theirs.
 
After you've evaluated the relationship it's time to give yourself and your significant other some space.  And I'm not just talking about the physical kind. You need to add no calling, texting, e-mail, or smoke signals.   It's hard to give your partner space most times, and I realize this. The reason you're taking space is so that you both have a chance to think about things and what you can do to make it better, or if you want to call it quits.  It's important to discuss with your partner why you're taking space, and it's also a good idea to share what you've figured out from evaluating the relationship.  This isn't a game of charades and your partner might not appreciate you disappearing all of a sudden.  Communication is a fundamental part of any relationship, so keep that in mind.  
 
Common Goals...Find them and Set Them.
 
Once you've talked to your partner, taken some space, and both decided that you want to keep going then it's time to set some common goals.  While it's important to retain individual identity and your own personal goals, the only way a relationship is going to work is if you're working towards something together.  Goals are dependent upon the couple: losing 5 pounds (together), saving money, date night every week, house hunting, spending more time with the family, or just spending more time together.  These are all good realistic goals to work towards.  
 
Break up to make up!  OK. Those were your two options and I hope by now you're at least started in the right direction.  Relationships don't have to be the end of the world, or the end of your life.  Sit down and figure out what's important to you.  The only person that can decide your happiness and your future is you, so get to it!