You're sitting at your kitchen table, in a lawn chair, or in the front seat of your car, and you're wondering what to do with your failure of a relationship. Your options range from break up to make up, either one is going to take some work and you're not going to get out of this easily. There are three tips to get you started in making your choice, and making whatever you decide to do successful.
All relationships have problems, even the great ones. How would we know that we were even in a great relationship if we hadn't suffered some sort of catastrophe earlier on. It's possible for bad relationships to become great, as well as relationships where people just seemed to stop trying. If you fell in love, there is always something there to work with so stay positive. You have important decisions to make and they're going to affect you for a long time, so make sure you do it right!
First, Evaluate the Situation...Carefully.
While you're sitting at your table, in your chair, etc., use this time to go over what exactly went wrong. Are you two fighting a lot, having career conflicts, or you just don't spend enough time together? Obviously the list can be much longer, but the point is that with a little work those issues can be resolved.
Take Your Space...Give Them Theirs.
After you've evaluated the relationship it's time to give yourself and your significant other some space. And I'm not just talking about the physical kind. You need to add no calling, texting, e-mail, or smoke signals. It's hard to give your partner space most times, and I realize this. The reason you're taking space is so that you both have a chance to think about things and what you can do to make it better, or if you want to call it quits. It's important to discuss with your partner why you're taking space, and it's also a good idea to share what you've figured out from evaluating the relationship. This isn't a game of charades and your partner might not appreciate you disappearing all of a sudden. Communication is a fundamental part of any relationship, so keep that in mind.
Common Goals...Find them and Set Them.
Once you've talked to your partner, taken some space, and both decided that you want to keep going then it's time to set some common goals. While it's important to retain individual identity and your own personal goals, the only way a relationship is going to work is if you're working towards something together. Goals are dependent upon the couple: losing 5 pounds (together), saving money, date night every week, house hunting, spending more time with the family, or just spending more time together. These are all good realistic goals to work towards.
Break up to make up! OK. Those were your two options and I hope by now you're at least started in the right direction. Relationships don't have to be the end of the world, or the end of your life. Sit down and figure out what's important to you. The only person that can decide your happiness and your future is you, so get to it!