For whatever reason, you both decided that a break from your relationship would do you good. Now while this is a great way to get a break from the problems that have been plaguing you, it's also a high risk strategy because one of you could decide to end the relationship. The time that you both spent on your break should have given you the opportunity to look at the issues that are clouding your relationship, because while you have had a break, they are still waiting for you. I hope that my tips for making up after a separation will be able to guide you through the making up process.
A relationship needs two people, that want to be together. Both of you have to be committed to the relationship, and you both have an equal responsibility to make sure that it works. Making up after a separation is not easy, and it will take time, but if you work at it, then your relationship should come out stronger.
Dealing With Issues
Something went wrong in the relationship, and you need to fix it.
Being two unique individuals you will each have your own perspective of what went wrong, in fact, you could have completely differing views, and both still be right. You need to try understand where your partner is coming from, something that to you could be insignificant could be very serious to them. It's easier said than done but you need to be able to deal with your issues calmly and rationally, and look for a compromise that you are both happy with.The Relationship Comes First
When you were single, your world revolved around you, what was good for you, and what you wanted. When you are in a relationship you have to consider the wants and needs of your partner.
If you want to build a healthy, happy, and stable relationship, you have to work together, there is no place for selfishness. If both of you work together and for each other, then there will be far less stress in the relationship, and you should both be a lot happier together.Try And Build The Best Relationship That You Can
When I first heard that phrase, I thought it a bit strange, but when you think about it, it makes good sense. If you both try to build the relationship that you had always hoped for, then who is to say that you will not achieve it.
Fight Fair
Be adult about things, and don't act like children. Don't play the blame game, don't insult each other, don't bring up issues from the past. Shouting and screaming at each other gets you nowhere, you might get a few milliseconds satisfaction, but you are only exacerbating the situation. Relationship problems can result in a lot of bitterness and resentment, if you keep throwing fuel on the fire then things can only get worse, and the situation will become a lot more difficult to resolve.
You Have To Communicate
Have you ever looked at everything that communication touches upon? You can only find out about each other by communicating. Whilst a physical attraction first drew you together, it was communication that made you interesting to each other, it was communication that kept you together, and it is communication that is bringing you back together. Without communication you have nothing to tie you together. You need to know your partners wants and needs, you need to know when to offer help and support, you can't do that without communicating. You need to be able to share each others lives, the good and the bad times, it's what helps your relationship to develop into something stronger and more meaningful. And let's face it, life would be pretty boring and sad if you didn't talk to the one that you love.
Spend Quality Time Together (AKA Have Fun)
Given that you could be together for decades, doesn't it make sense to enjoy your time together? When you are together you can forget about the stresses of life and just relax, take pleasure in each others company, it will draw you closer together, and besides, it's fun. It doesn't matter what you do, go on dates, go for walks, take a class, share each others interests, or whatever, the important thing is that every week you have some YOU time. Please remember, you are never to old to date each other or to have fun!
Be Romantic
Regardless of what you think, you can be romantic, after all, romance is you taking the effort to do something for the one that you love, not what you would call rocket science. Romance keeps the relationship exciting. Don't make what you do into a fixed routine, be spontaneous. If you happen to be thinking about your partner you could call, text, or email, to say how much you care. You could give your partner a single red rose. You could hire a DVD that they like. Go for a coffee and a long lazy day together. If you don't know what to do then there are plenty of romantic movies to take inspiration from. You never know, you might enjoy it.
Those are my tips for making up after a separation. They are in no particular order, all that matters is that you start talking to each other, enjoying each others company, and having fun together. It might take a long time before things are good between you again, so keep working at it, a happy, healthy, loving relationship is a thing worth having.
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